mardi 19 avril 2016

A Closer Look At Marriage Counseling

By Mark Wagner


Love is overrated. When reality sets in, love and commitment are more than just feelings. It is more than just emotions. It is a choice that goes well beyond the wedding dress and the butterflies in your stomach that makes you all giddy when you first said those three words to your partner.

There are some who would still want to stay, no matter how unhappy the marriage gets. Until the indifference builds up until you decide that divorce is the best way to go. Couples should be able to tell about their unhappiness and it is possible with Virginia Beach marriage counseling.

As days go by, it does not get better. Maintaining a marriage takes some skills, as well as solving problems that goes with it. People are not always the best caretakers when it comes to relationships. Like your valuable vehicles, they require some maintenance to keep them in good condition, to make them work.

Partners often think that divorce is the best way out. This, without knowing that you also have to earn your way into divorce even harder than the way you have earned your marriage. It is not as easy as packing your bags and heading out the door just because you think you cannot handle it anymore.

But when it comes to things that needs more mending, like relationships, you tend to avoid acting out. Not until things already are at a rough patch, or when they are already beyond repair. Unfortunately, many couples consider counseling when things have already fallen apart. Or when your bond, emotional and physical, is in danger of already dying.

You may think that you are doing well trying to solve the problem, but a counselor would have a better shot in teaching a couple in getting both your needs met. Because of misconceptions about what marriage counseling really is, couples tend to ignore the idea of seeking professional help at the onset of their issues. Some may think of it as only for those who are already suffering a major damage such as unfaithfulness or substance abuse.

Before you entertain the thought of walking out, ask yourself if you have even tried. If you can live with the knowledge that you just went on without trying, then by all means, go. But without a doubt, nobody would be so inhuman to think that way. Surely, the two of you would be willing to give it a chance.

Most people find comfort in their family and friends, especially when the union is on a rocky phase. But it is kind of obvious how on each side, your loved ones tend to be biased when they offer solutions. They are human too, and more than anyone else, it is okay for you to think they understand it better. But it is not fair. Being partial is never fair.

And no amount of therapy can help either of you or both, if you are doing it for compliance, or with half a heart only. You both, have at least to be wiling to give it a chance. Otherwise there is no sense, in trying to patch something you do not want to take any part of anyway.




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